Our First Day of School
by Catalina Da Vinci
Summary: *REVISED (Loose Ends Tied Up)*What happens when some of the WWF's top stars have to go back to high school? Read and find out. Features the Hardy's, Lita, RVD, Taker, Kane, Ric Flair, Vince McMahon and Y2J. Please review.
1. The Meeting

"Barb, tell Flair I'm going to be late for this mornings meeting" Jean told her as she was brushing her hair. It was early Monday morning, the day of the big meeting.  
  
"Why?" Barbarella asked her roommate.  
  
"Because I need to go see Chris, I have to drive all the way to where McMahon has his "Smackdown" guys. Unfortunately I don't have the convenience of working in the same show with my man like you do" Jean said.  
  
"Well tell that asshole to trade his ass back to the RAW and STOP YOUR BITCHIN''!" Barbarella said as she did her impersonation of South Park's Cartman. Jean followed Barbarella's comment by flipping off her roommate while holding a brush on the other hand.  
  
"Okay, okay, no need for aggression woman!" Barbarella answered back laughing. "Well Jeanie, I'll tell Ric Flair you're going to be late and then get your ass fired and blah, blah, blah" she said sarcastically as she got her stuff and headed out the door.  
  
"Don't talk about important things while I'm not there" Jean told Barbarella.  
  
"Yes mother!" Barb answered back  
  
"Bitch!" Jean said.  
*****************************************************************************************************  
Barbarella got to Titan Towers and she headed upstairs to this important meeting that Ric had been whining about for the past week. Barb opened the door to the conference room and she stepped inside. She saw Mark Callaway (Taker), Glen Jacobs (Kane), Booker Huffman (Booker T), Amy Dumas (Lita), Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy and her handsome boyfriend Rob Szatkowski (RVD) *I wonder what this meeting is for* she thought. Barb greeted everyone and then she went to go sit down by Rob.   
  
"What's all this about babe?" she asked Rob with curiosity.  
  
"I have no idea sweetheart, but Ric made it sound really important" he answered.  
  
A few seconds later, Ric came in the room and he noticed the empty seat by Barb.  
  
"Where's Jean?" he asked.  
  
"Well...uh, Ric, she's going to be late...personal issues" Barb answered.  
  
"Bullshit!...you better tell that young lady that when I set up a meeting...that she needs to be here and not out with Irvine" he said. He turned around to close the door and Barb took the time then to stick out her tongue at Ric. The room erupted with a soft giggle from everyone. Ric turned around and then looked at them strangely. Then he began to speak  
  
"Anyway, I called this meeting to give you all a bit of bad news. It seems that as I was moving all of your records, I stumbled upon something strange...I don't seem to have your high school diplomas"  
  
"Hold it!, hold it!...what do you mean you can't find our diplomas?...Ric,what kind of shit is that man?" Barb protested.  
  
"I don't know Barb, but the worst part is...it seems as if they don't exist at all...and, in order to keep you people here working with the WWF Monday Night RAW deal, I need those diplomas"  
  
"What?!?!!?!?" everyone said in unison  
  
"Ok, Flair, cut the crap, what does this all mean?" Barb asked.  
  
"It means that until I have those diplomas...you are all taking a temporary leave of absence."   
  
"You're kidding me?" she said.  
  
"I wish I was...but I'm not. The only thing we can do is...well, it looks like you are all going to have to go back to high school"  
  
"High school??...Ric, are you nuts sucka?!" Booker protested.  
  
"I'm sorry Booker...but you are. I have all enrolled you to the same school so you'll hang out with each other...take that long face off, its a fine institution."  
  
"What?...Cambridge?" Booker asked.  
  
"Uh...not exactly...your school is in California, but its the best school in the area!" Ric said.  
  
"Wait a second...you're hiding something from us you weasel!, Where exactly is this school?" Barb yelled.  
  
"It's in Los Angeles Barb...in fact, it's your's and Jean's old high school"  
  
"You mean to tell us you're sending us to a ghetto school Ric?" Rob said.  
  
Barb slapped Rob in the head, "Its not a "ghetto" school...its simply a bit, um..what's the word...?" she trailed off  
  
"Ghetto!" Rob insisted. After that, Barb just gave him a dirty look.  
  
"You guys will be attending Bell High school in Bell, California. All of you are going there and that's final!, Case closed!" Ric yelled. "You guys are lucky that I even found a school that would take you in the middle of the semester." He then put on his glasses and he opened his brief case and began pulling out the class schedules.   
  
"I don't believe this!, do you know the last time I set foot in a school?" Mark said.  
  
"Yeah...you rode a dinosaur to school you old fart!" Jeff teased  
  
"Who are you calling an old fart you son of a bitc-"  
  
"Kids, kids!" Barb said.  
  
After Ric sorted through the class schedules, he began to hand them out.   
"Book, this is for you"  
  
"Chemistry??...damn it Ric, I hate Chemistry!" he whined.  
  
"Tough. Amy, here" Ric said.  
  
"Spanish??, awwww Ric!, not again!" she complained.  
  
"Ok...to make this easier, I want everyone in a single file line" Ric said. The rest of them awaited their destiny's as Ric handed them the transcripts. "Ok Mr. Jacobs, here you are"  
  
"Home ec?!?, But..." Glen whined  
  
"Next!" Ric said. "Ah, Mr. Callaway...lets see, ah, here we are" he said as he handed Mark his transcript  
  
"Oh what the hell?!?!?...Do I look like a damn nosy ass reporter to you??" he whined as he saw he had journalism for third period.  
  
"You look more like a diploma-less person to me Mark...next!"  
  
"Ah...Matt, I'm sure you'll like your third period" he told him as he gave him a smile.  
  
Everyone gathered around the older Hardy brother to see his class schedule and then they all burst in laughter. "Ballet???...OMG!" he yelled  
  
"Awwww Matty will be dancing around in a pink tutu...how cute!" Jeff mocked him.  
  
"I wouldn't laugh if I were you Jeff...you're joining him for third period" Ric said as he handed him his schedule. Jeff's smile of mockery fell and then the room once again burst into laughter with the exception of himself.  
  
"Rob...here's yours"  
  
"Knitting??, you are giving R-V-D knitting?" Rob said with disappointment.  
  
"Have fun grandma!" Barbarella mocked.  
  
"If he's going to be a grandma...then you shall be a grease monkey Barb" Ric said as he handed her the schedule.  
  
"Auto!!!!...But Ric, I don't even know what a freaken' monkey wrench look's like" she whined like a child.  
  
"You don't use monkey wrenches for Auto you dork!" Jeff said.  
  
"Fuck you Jeff!" she returned  
  
"Any time sweetheart" Jeff said with a smirk  
  
"Hey, fuck off dickweed" Rob said as he put his arm around Barb while she stuck her tongue out at Jeff.  
  
Flair rubbed his temples and rolled his eyes "Hey!, focus here for a minute ok? ANYWAY, what I was saying Barb is that you don't have to worry, Jean will be joining you too" he said.  
  
"And what??...that's supposed to me make me feel better??...Get us both out of this class!...Can't you see that Jean will flip even more than I did when I tell her that we have Auto?" she asked.  
  
"Don't know, don't care" Flair said. Within seconds of that, Jean came in through the door.  
  
"I'm so sorry I'm late Ric...the traffic was terrible and..." she stopped when she noticed that everyone in the room except Ric had this pissed off looking face.  
  
"Here you go Jean...Woooooooooooo!" Ric said as he handed her the schedule. He left the room and closed the door leaving Jean standing there with a "What the fuck??" look.   
  
"Ok...why did Ric say that? and why did he just give me a schedule with all my old high school classes?...except Auto...ewww, I never had that" she asked everyone as she reviewed the sheet.  
  
"I think you better sit" Barb said. Jean sat down and then Barb told her everything that had happened.  
  
"Nooooooooooo!!!!!!!!" Jean screamed. Her scream was heard even outside the conference room.  
  
Everyone had their classes and there was no escape. Monday morning at 7:30 a.m. Mark, Glen, Booker, Amy, Matt, Jeff, Rob, Jean and Barbarella were going to be in high school.  
  
***************************************************************************************************** 


	2. Off To School We Go

Monday morning had finally come and Mark, Glen, Booker, Amy, Matt, Jeff, Rob, Jean and Barbarella had to wake up extra early for their first day of school. Ric had all bought them condo's in California so they would have a place to stay while attending school.  
  
"Get the hell out of the bathroom already Jean!...you've been there for 2 hours" Barb yelled out while she pounded the door with her fist.  
  
"Piss off Barb!...I'm doing my hair!" Jean said.  
  
"Well do it out here damn it!...we're going to be late!" Barb yelled.   
  
Suddenly Jean opened the door violently with the cordless dryer in her hand "Fine, fine, get your ass in there!" she said.  
  
"Damn girl, you look like a poodle!" Barb said. Jean then flipped her off again. "Jean, you know, instead of insulting me with it, there are other uses for that offensive finger of yours" Barb said. Jean just burst out with laughter and then Barb said "Oh dude...that didn't sound right"   
  
"Ok missy, get your ass in that bathroom, we don't have much time" Jean said. After that Barb went in the bathroom, showered and got dressed. About thirty minutes later, there was a knock on their door.  
  
"Coming" Jean said. She opened the door and saw Rob standing there.  
  
"What's up? Are you two ready?, everyone is waiting in the van outside" he said to Jean.  
  
"Yeah...Barb, come on, lets go!" she said. Barb came out with her back bag and she was all ready for school.  
  
"Babe!...you look so cute!" Rob told Barb as he kissed her.  
  
"Ok, you love birds, lets go" Jean insisted. They went downstairs to the parking lot where the van was. Matt was in the drivers seat and when he saw Barb, Jean and Rob, he looked at Barb and Jean and pointed at his watch to tell them that they were going to be late if they didn't hurry. Jean then proceeded to flip him off. Barb, Rob and J got in the van and shut the door.  
  
"What took you so long Rob?...I told you to go and get them..not to sit down and have tea" Matt said.  
  
"Dude...it wasn't my fault, they wouldn't come out" Rob said.  
  
"Women" Matt muttered. Then he felt Amy elbow him in the ribs. "Owww! " he said. Amy just gave him a stern look.  
  
They pulled in the parking lot of the school and they parked. They all got out one by one and they headed towards the school.  
  
"God help us all" Lita said as they walked to the gate.  
  
"Guys, try to keep a low profile" Booker said.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, we know B" Barb said.  
  
"Damn Barb we haven't been here in so long" Jean said.  
  
"I know, I wonder if old Mrs. Barkin is still giving tardy slips" Barb said. As soon as she said that she heard a crackly voice of an old woman  
  
"Comeback here you slacker!" she yelled at some young kid that was standing there. She gave him a tardy slip and then she began to look around for more victims to give tardy slips to.  
  
"Oh shit...run you guys, run!" Barb and Jean whispered to the rest of them softly. They all followed them quickly. Barb and Jean recalled the many times they were tardy and they remembered how they use to sneak in through this corridor in the other side of the school. They finally managed to sneak in and they headed to the main office. They walked and each of them were directed to their classes.  
  
A couple of hours passed and then the dreadful third period came. It was so weird how their third periods were the worst. 


	3. Booker T and Chemistry

Booker- Third Period Chemistry  
  
"Students, today we have a new student joining us. Booker Huffman, please stand up and tell us about yourself" Miss MacDiarmid said.  
  
"Well, I'm uh-"  
  
"Booker T...any relation to Mr. T?" a kid blurted out.   
  
*So much for the low profile* Booker thought. "Tell me you didn't just say that!" Booker replied  
  
After that outburst from the kid, the entire class began a chant saying "I pitty the fool."  
  
"Stop that right now!" Miss MacDiarmid said. "Ricardo, go to Mr. Jules' office right now!" she said as she wrote him a referral.  
  
"But Miss MacDiarmid..he's a suck-"  
  
"Enough Ricardo!...go, now!" she said. She then turned her attention to an embarrassed Booker "I'm sorry Mr. Huffman, anyway, welcome to Bell" she said.  
  
"Call me Booker" he said.  
  
"Very well then Booker. Ok, class, today we will do our pre-lab..." Miss MacDiarmid continued.  
  
*I can't believe what that sucka said* Booker thought to himself. 


	4. Lita Practices her Spanish

Amy-Third Period Spanish  
  
"Buenos Dias estudiantes" (Good morning students) Mr. Frijol said.  
  
"Tenemos una nueva alumna en nuestra clase" (we have a new student in class) he said as he pointed to Amy.  
  
"Amy, dinos algo sobre de ti" (Amy, tell us something about yourself) he told her.  
  
She bit her bottom lip and then she couldn't think of anything to say. She thought and thought trying to put a sentence together, a few seconds passed until she finally opened her mouth "Um...um...Yo...um..Yo quiero Taco Bell??" she said. The entire room filled with laughter and Mr. Frijol's face fumed in anger.  
  
"This is a Spanish class young lady!, not a fast food restaurant!" he screamed. Amy, embarrassed, took her seat once again and she looked around at everyone. *Ric, when this is over, I am going to swanton your ass all over MSG!* she thought. After that introduction, Amy just wanted to crawl under her desk and never come out. 


	5. Twirling with the Twinkle Toes Brothers

Matt and Jeff-Third Period Ballet class

Matt and Jeff both walked in a room filled with mirrors, bars, and chix in tights. They both looked around and then Jeff whispered to Matt "Dude...we're the only guys in this class". They both walked towards the instructor and they gave her their schedules for her to sign.

"Ah...Matt, Jeff, welcome to our ballet class, I'm Mrs. Baryshnikov" she said as she introduced herself. While she did that and did all the paperwork, the rest of the class was stretching. Two girls in the back took notice of the two handsome guys that were going to join their class.

"Look at that ass Asia!" Nikki whispered to her as she observed Matt.

"Hee Hee" she responded as she observed Jeff's figure.

"Well, we don't have much time for introductions, so we have to get to work. Both of you bring your tights?" Mrs. Baryshnikov asked

"Uh, yeah" they both said shyly.

"Very well, the dressing room is in the back...hurry, we have to get moving" she said as she hurried them along.

Minutes after, they both came out in tights. Matt's was light blue and Jeff's was green. "Nice legs tinkerbell" Jeff whispered to Matt.

"I wouldn't be talking Peter Pan!" he said as he elbowed him. They both walked out to where the rest of the class was and Mrs. Baryshnikov instructed them on what to do. 

"Ok Matt...up, down, keep your back leg strait...up, down..ok, try to spin now" Mrs. Baryshnikov said. Matt tried to do it and as soon as he tried to spin...he fell strait on his ass. Endless giggles were heard throughout the class and then Jeff proceeded to mock Matt again.

"Nice spin banana heels!" he said.

"Jeff, you're next" Mrs. Baryshnikov said.

Jeff's face fell and then he gulped deeply. He followed Mrs. Baryshnikov instructions and when he tried to spin, he was doing it almost right, except he got his knee stuck on the stretching bar and he went in the air and landed on Asia causing Nikki to fall, causing a domino effect to the entire class and within seconds, the entire class except Mrs. Baryshnikov were on the floor rubbing their asses in pain.

Jeff blushed and couldn't find anything else to say except "Ooops". After that, everyone got up and they began to practice again.

"Oh no!...hell no, you ain't getting me to spin like that again" Matt protested as he rubbed his sore ass.

"Ok, you two, since its your first day, I'll cut you guys a break, just stretch for today" Mrs. Baryshnikov said. They both went to the other side of the room and proceeded their stretching.


	6. Taker Takes a Picture

Mark-Third Period Journalism  
  
"Your first story will be on the boys' bathroom. I've heard a lot of complaints about the toilets overflowing, you can take the digital camera with you "Mr. Pyle explained to Mark.  
  
"A what??" Mark asked  
  
"The digital camera Callaway...just look, point and press this little gray button" he said.  
  
"Oh god...toilets?, overflowing?, please tell me this isn't happening" Mark whined.  
  
"Look Callaway, if you want to pass this class, you have to comply with the assignments, if not, I have no problem failing you." Pyle lectured.  
  
"Ok, ok, I'm going" he said. He walked out of the classroom and he headed out to the bathroom when he realized something *Where the hell is the bathroom??* He thought. He began to walk around confused as a lost duck and thank God Jean was around when he was out there. He sped up to catch her and then he spoke.  
  
"Jean, Jean, babe, help me out"   
  
"Um...ok..what?"  
  
"Where's the bathroom?" he said, camera in hand.  
  
"Um, don't you have other interesting things to take pictures of Mark?"  
  
"Its not by choice Jean"  
  
"Dude, don't tell me you have Mr. Pyle?" Jean said in surprise  
  
"Yeah"  
  
"Geez, I had no idea the old bastard still taught here" Jean said. "Anyway, go strait down there and turn to your left, the bathroom is right there. Good Luck babe" she said as she turned away and headed back to class. Mark walked down the hall and turned left and sure enough, there it was...the dreadful boys bathroom. He walked in there and he couldn't help but cover his nose  
  
"What the hell??...this is sick" Mark said as he observed it. He wanted to take his pictures quick so he could get the hell out of there. Mark opened the bathroom stalls and he began to take pictures with the camera.  
  
"OMG...don't these people flush!" he yelled out. *I want close pictures Callaway, or else you will fail my class!* Mark replayed what Pyle had told him earlier. Mark went to the next stall and he slowly opened the door, he saw something so sick and twisted, that it made his stomach turn and as soon as the smell got to him again, Mark threw up all over the floor of the bathroom stall. After he threw up he whispered to himself "I gotta get that picture" and as he got closer and focused the camera, he slipped on his own vomit and he fell hitting his head with the toilet bowl and he was knocked out unconscious. 


	7. Kane in an Apron?

Glen-Third Period Home Ec.  
  
"Mix 2 cups of flour and only add 1/8 teaspoon of yeast and no more!...you don't want your bread to overflow and explode in the oven" Mrs. Crocker instructed her class.  
  
Glen read the instructions on his recipe paper and he grabbed the ingredients. He read the instructions and he thought *ok...1/8 teaspoon of yeast?...hmmm, this has to mean that I add nine teaspoons right?, I mean 1+8 is 9* He smiled at his discovery and then he eagerly added 9 teaspoons of yeast to his 2 cups of flour. After he mixed the rest of his ingredients, he put it in the oven and he waited for his bread. A few minutes later he noticed that his bread was risi *oh, cool, its rising* he thought, he turned around and went to go get his oven mittens and when he turned around again, he noticed that his bread kept rising and it was covering the little window in the oven. Glen peeled his eyes and he quickly called Mrs. Crocker  
  
"Uh...Mrs. Crocker, um, exactly how much is 1/8 teaspoon" he asked her.  
  
"Oh silly Glen, its this one of course" she said as she pulled out the tiny, tiny teaspoon out of the cabinet.  
  
"You mean its not this one?" he asked her as he grabbed the tablespoon.  
  
"Oh, heavens no, if you added even half of that tablespoon of yeast, the oven would explode" she said comically  
  
Glen gulped and then he said "Um...Mrs. Crocker, I think we better evacuate the room now" he said.  
  
"Glen, why?, what's the matter?" she asked.  
  
He put his head down and he pointed to the oven. Mrs. Crocker saw the oven and the bread all over it and she peeled her eyes. "Uh...class, class, lets get out of the room right now, move it!" she announced.  
  
"Oh no!...Its going to Bloooooooooooowwwwww!!!!!!!!!" Glen screamed as he along with the rest of the class ran out of the room, Mrs. Crocker wasn't able to get out. A loud BOOM! was heard and the classroom was covered in Bread mixture.  
  
Glen and the rest of the class opened their mouths at what they just saw and through the smoke, Mrs. Crocker emerged from the room covered in flour and dough. Glen put his head down in shame and said "Ummm....ummm..ummm, sorry Mrs. Crocker" in a little boy's tone. 


	8. Poking Some Fun on RVD

Rob- Third Period Knitting Class  
  
"Owwwwww!!!!" Rob whined as he poked himself with the knitting needle for the billionth time. "Mrs. Stewart!...I can't do this shit!" he yelled  
  
"First of all, watch your language young man...this isn't the WWF! I don't care how famous you are, you are not speaking like that in my class!...now get back to work" she reminded him. She turned back around and Rob mimicked what she had said. *damn old hag...when was the last time you got laid?* he thought. Rob tried to knit the yarn he had in his fingers again, and then he made a loop and quickly put the needle throughout it so it would make the link, but he had done it so quickly that he forgot his finger was still in the loop. A big dose of pain entered Rob as he saw his blood turn that white yarn into red.  
  
"Hey...Stewart" Rob said silently  
  
She was busy doing something else and said, "Hold on Rob"  
  
"Uh...uh...Stewart!" he said once again as the pain got worse and worse.  
  
"Just a minute Rob!" she said irritated.  
  
Rob got up and he began to yell at her "Listen to me you jacked up bitch, I don't give a damn what you're doing, do something about this!" he said desperately as he raised his hand to her view and showed her the needle in his finger.  
  
"Look Rob, I don't have any time for your games right now! Do you think I'm some kind of idiot? only an idiot would injure himself with a knitting needle, what the hell is wrong with you Szatkowski?" she lectured him. She went on and on and Rob kept losing more and more and more blood. Her words began to fade in Rob's mind and soon he became giddy, within seconds, Rob collapsed on the floor. A loud thump was heard throughout the classroom.  
  
"OMG!...you killed the whole fucking show!" some bimbo yelled out in the back. She ran to him quickly and kneeled beside him "Maybe I should give him mouth to mouth!" she announced. Before anyone could say anything, her lips were right on top of his, she seemed to enjoy it.  
  
Rob felt a strangers lips caressing his and he quickly jumped back to reality. He opened his eyes and sat up quickly spitting out the taste and looking at the bimbo in disgust.   
  
"What the hell do you think you're doing?!?!!?" he yelled out.  
  
"Now, now Rob, calm down...she was only trying to help" Mrs. Stewart said as she wrote Rob a quick note to the Nurse's office.   
  
Rob looked at Mrs. Stewart and gave her the *I want to kill you* look. He snatched the note away from her hand and he began to walk away. As he reached the door he turned around and pointed at the bimbo "And don't you ever...ever put your hands on R-V-D!" he warned her. Rob walked out of the room and went to the nurse's office. 


	9. The Grease Monkeys

Barbarella and Jean- third Period Auto  
  
Barb and Jean slammed their carburetors on the table with frustration "We are WWF executives!...not freaken' mechanics!" Barb protested.  
  
"Now, now ladies...think of it as an art...not labor" Mr. Midas said.  
  
"Blah...blah...blah" Barb said. She let out a small giggle and she expected Jean to do the same, but she didn't; Jean instead has a sad expression on her face.  
  
With a look of concern Barb said "Everything ok Jean?, you seemed a bit sad this morning"   
  
"Nah Barb...I'm ok" she said sadly  
  
"Come on Jean, don't lie to me...you and I are tight...now come on, spill it"  
  
Jean looked at her and her eyes got watery "Barb...Chris..."  
  
"Oh come on Jean...don't cry, whatever it is, it'll be ok" she said.  
  
"Barb...lately Chris' angle in the WWF has been too much, I mean...with him losing the undisputed title and having him hang out with his friends and all these women..."  
  
"Oh, but..." she said  
  
"Wait Barb...there's more. Last PPV...Chris was hanging out with Stephanie McMahon friends. I flew in to Toronto to surprise him and when I went inside his dressing room, he was...he was screwing Stephanie "she said trying to contain her tears  
  
"That bastard!...Oh, when I see him I'm going to kick his ass...just wait and see" Barb said with anger. She hugged Jean "Don't worry Jeanie...everything will be ok...it'll all blow over" When Barb let go of Jean, she hadn't noticed that her foot had gotten caught on one of the extension cords. When she stepped back, she pulled the cord causing it to push the carburetor over and having it land on her toe.  
  
"Owwwwww!!!!!!!....that Fucking stupid....*BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPP*" Barb yelled.  
  
"OMG Barb!...are you ok?" Jean said as she kneeled by her friend.  
  
Mr. Midas quickly rushed over "What happened here ladies?" he asked.  
  
"Um...I think Barb had a little accident with the carbonator" Jean said.  
  
"You mean the carBURator?" Mr. Midas said.  
  
"Carbonator, carburetor?...what's the difference?...My friend is in pain here Midas!" Jean yelled.  
  
Mr. Midas picked Barbarella up and sat her down on the table "I think the nurse needs to see you" he said.  
  
"Nah?...you think?" Jean said with a sudden urge to smack him.  
  
Mr. Midas grabbed a wheel chair he had in the closet and he sat Barbarella down in it. "Now wheel your candy ass over there!" he said.  
  
Barbarella wanted to cuss him out so bad...but she couldn't...her toe was too much in pain!. Jean opened the door for her and Barb headed out of the door, Jean wanted to go with her but Midas didn't let her. "Barbarella is a big girl...she can handle it" Midas said. He turned back around and Jean flipped him off and laughter was heard all around the Auto shop.  
  
Barb went over to the nurses office and she opened the door  
  
"Ah damn it!" she said as she hit the door with her wheelchair. She finally got inside and she saw Mark in there with a brand new set of funky plaid looking clothes on and an ice pack over his forehead. Barb wheeled closer and said, "What the hell happened to you?"  
  
"I was just about to ask you the same thing" he replied  
  
"Well...I have third period Auto and–"  
  
"Say no more!" he interrupted.  
  
Barb stuck her tongue out at him and she wheeled over next to him to wait for the nurse. "So...what's new Markey Mark?" she asked  
  
"Nothing much...you just missed Rob, he had a little accident with the knitting needle."  
  
"Ouchie...my poor baby"  
  
Mark thought it would be a good opportunity to talk to Barb about what was bugging him, "Barbarella...can I talk to you about something?"  
  
"Woah...you're calling me Barbarella...this must be important" she teased.  
  
He smiled a bit, then he got serious and then he spilled it, "Jean loves Chris doesn't she?...I mean, she's really happy with him, huh?"  
  
Barb couldn't help but giggle a bit "OMG...you have a crush on her?...you really do?"  
  
"I do not!...I just want to know"  
  
"Sure you do." Barb continued to tease.  
  
"Don't say anything Barb...I beg you" he pleaded.  
  
"Don't worry, I won't...all I can tell you you is that Jean's a little confused about Chris right now...things aren't going to well"  
  
"What?...what's wrong?....I swear, if that son of a bitch hurts Jean...I'll stick my foot so far up his ass, I swear he won't thirst for a week" he threatened.  
  
"Woah...calm down dead man" Barb told him "Just let it go dude, I think you're stressing over this more that Jean is" she teased.  
  
Mark just rolled his eyes, leaned his head back against the wall and put the ice pack on his forehead.  
  
The nurse finally came out, she saw Barb and then with her hands on her hips, she said "And what the hell happened to you?...goodness, you new kids are either having a bad first day or you are really clumsy"  
  
"Yeah...ha ha, very funny nurse Wagner" Barb said as she wheeled herself in the room. "Laters Marky Mark"  
  
"Bye Babe" 


	10. The Drama King Versus the Badass

Meanwhile in the Principals office...  
  
"Now Mr. Irvine...why is it that you need to work here?" Principal Jules asked.  
  
"Well sir...I was told by my employer that I needed to get the rest of my credentials, I really need this job in order to go back to the ring" Chris said  
  
"Well Mr. Irvine...since Vince McMahon and I are good friends, I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll let you teach here to get the rest of your credentials, but I'm afraid that you'll have to be a teacher in our fine arts department..."  
  
"Oh yeah...no problem sir ... sculpture is cool with me" he said  
  
"Wait Mr. Irvine, I wasn't finished...fine arts as in teaching Drama"  
  
"Drama?....are you kidding me?"  
  
"Come on Mr. Irvine...we all know that you are an expert in that...come on sir...I watch wrestling too"  
  
"Shit!" Chris mumbled to himself  
  
"What was that Mr. Irvine?" Jules said.  
  
"N...nothing, ok...where do I go then?"   
  
Jules smiled and he began to walk him to the indoor stage area.  
**********************************************************  
Jean was pacing around Auto class worried about Barb and that carburetor incident. She promised herself that as soon as Lunch came...that she would find out what was going on. For now, she had to concentrate on her next class, she kinda looked forward to it. She remembered that Ric at least had the decency to give her at least one class she would enjoy, Drama. The bell finally rang and she headed out to the indoor stage area.  
**********************************************************  
  
Jean walked across the campus and she finally got to the indoor stage area. She grabbed her schedule and she went out to the stage. She walked inside and she saw a bunch of people and in the crowd, she noticed a tall figure standing there with a red mark on his forehead. She went around the crowd and she finally got to him.  
  
"Hey Mark!...I didn't know you had Drama too" Jean said as she gave Mark a hug.   
  
Mark felt Jeans tiny little arms wrap around his big body and it sent tingles down his spine "Hey Babe...Yeah, I got stuck in this class, but now that you're here, it won't be so bad after all"  
  
Jean let go of him and she smiled, then she looked at his forehead again and said "What the hell happened to you?"   
  
"Oh...this" he said as he touched his forehead "Well, I had a little accident while taking pictures of the bathroom, I had to go to the nurse"  
  
"Oh...are you ok?"  
  
"Yeah, Barb kept me company for a while" Mark answered  
  
"Oh yeah, Barb...is she ok?" Jean asked  
  
"Yeah, she just sprained her toe, she'll be ok"  
  
"Oh, thank God...I was all worried" Jean said.   
  
They continued talking until they heard Jules' voice among the class "Ok...hey...class...up here, hello?...pay attention here a minute please, Mr. Calloway, Ms. Choy, turn around please" Jean and Mark rolled their eyes and turned around and to their surprise, they saw Chris standing there by Mr. Jules.  
  
"What the hell is he doing here?" Jean whispered to Mark in his ear  
  
"I don't know" Mark said.  
  
"Ok people, I'd like you to meet Mr. Irvine, your new Drama teacher. Now, I know he's famous and he wrestles and all, but if you want to pass this class, you have to learn all about Drama and listen to everything that he says, is that understood?" Mr. Jules asked the class  
  
Everyone but Jean and Mark said "Yes sir"  
  
"Good...the class is all yours Mr. Irvine, have a good day" Jules said. With that, he walked out of the stage area and he left Chris there to handle the class.  
  
"Ok...hi, I'm Mr. Irvine, but you can call me Chris or Irvine, which ever you guys want. Um, as you know I'll be your drama teacher, so for now, I want you people to choose your a partner." The students began to spread out and form groups of 2, then Chris realized that Jean was in his class *oh, this will be the perfect time to get through to her* he thought. After all the groups formed, he began to teach "Ok people, we will be learning how to present a love scene that will captivate your audience and..I'm gonna need a partner for now to show you guys the moves...Hmmmm, lets see, who can I pick here" he said as he saw all the girls except Jean raise their hands eagerly "You there, Jean...come here" he said.  
  
"I already have a partner CHRIS" she said with anger in her voice.  
  
"Hmmm... you're not cooperating with me here Jean,. I'd hate to give you a "U" in cooperation. Now cooperate with me so you can pass this class" he said firmly  
  
Jean angrily walked over there and stood next to Chris, Mark was standing in the back fuming.  
  
Chris grabbed Jean's hands "Ok...now place close attention now, observe how realistic this looks like" he began to tell the class. Chris got closer to Jean and he began to recite Shakespeare "Ah, Juliet, if the measure of thy joy...Be heap'd like mine and that thy skill be more...To blazon it, then sweeten with thy breath...This neighbour air, and let rich music's tongue...Unfold the imagined happiness that both...Receive in either by this dear encounter." Jean just rolled her eyes and ignored him. Suddenly to Jean's surprise, Chris kissed her.  
  
  
Mark finally couldn't hold it in anymore. He ran to the front of the class and he speared Chris and he began to kick his ass. Jean moved out of the way and she looked at them surprisingly. Chris rolled over, pinning Mark and he began to punch him back, then Mark countered and rolled on top of Chris and he began to punch him on the ribs. The both got up and continued to punch each other. Jean couldn't stand it anymore and she got in the middle of them. The finally split up and then Jean slapped Chris. By the time the ordeal was over, The entire class had surrounded the three of them, cheering them on. Soon, security came and took all three of them to the principals office for disciplinary action. 


	11. Lunchtime Madness

The bell for the ending of fourth period rang and Booker, Glen, Rob and Barb met up in their spot for lunch, Jeff, Matt and Amy hadn't arrived yet, and Jean and Mark...well, we all knew where they were. The group began to tell each other about their day and everyone cracked up at Glen's experience with the baking  
  
"You don't put that much baking powder on bread sucka!" Booker teased Glen  
  
"Oh yeah Booker, like you knew what you were doing when you tried that egg thing" Glen countered  
  
"Ok, ok...enough with the egg story already" Booker whined. Everyone began to laugh and then Matt, Amy and Jeff came running to them to report what had happened.  
  
"Chris did what?!?!?" Barb said  
  
"And Mark speared who?!?!?!?" Rob asked.   
  
"Oh, I'm gonna get that son of a bitch Irvine...he owes me one!" Barb said aggressively as she began to walk toward the principals office  
  
"Barb, wait up babe!...come here, where are you going?" Rob said as he went after her.  
  
"Hey Rob, wait up sucka" Booker said  
  
"Booker...hold up" Glen said as he followed him.  
  
Matt, Amy and Jeff looked at each other and all three of them shrugged and followed the rest of the crowd.  
  
Barb got to the principals office and she stormed in there. She looked at Mark holding Jean in his arms waiting outside in the lobby of his office and she immediately went to them  
  
"Are you ok Jean?"  
  
"Yeah...I'm ok Barb"  
  
Barbarella looked around and she saw through the window in Mr. Jules' office Chris, having his back towards her talking to the principal. She opened the little door and she jumped on Chris' back giving him a sleeper hold.  
  
"You son of a bitch....this is for messing with Jean and pissing me off" Barb said as she gripped that sleeper hold tighter and tighter.  
  
"Get off that mans back this instant young lady" Principal Jules said as he tried to get Barb off of Chris' back  
  
A few seconds later, the rest of the crowd showed up and Rob grabbed Barb and he managed to get her off of Chris' back. Rob put Barb over his shoulder and he went outside to let her cool off. Meanwhile inside the office, Chris was knocked out in the floor. Mark and Jean stood there in aww and the rest of them couldn't believe what Barb had done. 


	12. What the Hell are you Doing?

"Rob!...Rob Szatkowski!...Put me down!" Barb screamed as she struggled in his arms.  
  
"Not till you cool off babe...now sit down" Rob said as he put her down on one of the benches outside.  
  
"I don't need to cool off...I'm fine!"  
  
"Oh great...our ass is grass Barb...Ric is probably on his way over..."  
  
"Oh quit complaining Rob, Flair will take care of everything...its not like if he's gonna fire us or anything" Barb said. A while passed and suddenly Ric peeked his head out of the office door. He looked at Barb and he gave her a look that could kill, Barb let out a big gulp as she saw Ric walking towards them. He finally got there and he put his hands of his hips and he began to yell at her  
  
"What the hell do you think you're doing Barbarella?...do you want to get all your asses suspended?!?" he yelled at her  
  
"Sorry Dad!...but it wasn't my bright idea to lose our High school diplomas in the first place!" Barb said sarcastically  
  
Ric just shook his head, then he turned to yell at Rob "And who the hell taught her to do those sleeper holds?!?...you I suppose!"  
  
Rob shrugged his shoulders, "Hey, you were the one who taught her the sleeper holds Ric, not me." Rob said.  
  
"Oh yeah...but ANYWAY,do you know what this entire ordeal is going to cost me?!?" Flair yelled  
  
"No Ric...enlighten us..." Barb mocked  
  
Ric just gave her a stern look, "I had to bribe your stupid principal with 31,000 dollars and I had to sign some liability contract for any damage..." he yelled.  
  
Barb covered her ears, "Ok Ric...we get the picture...damn, I almost got suspended man, you want me to lose my hearing too?" she said  
  
"And I've had enough of your sarcasm...now, NO MORE OUTBURSTS LIKE THAT!...no hitting, no kicking, no sleeper holds, no bashing heads through doors, NO FIGHTING!...is that understood Barbarella!" Ric screamed  
  
"Yeah, yeah...or my ass is grass, I know.." Barb said as she rolled her eyes. Then the bell rang to go to sixth period. Everyone was on their way to sixth period, and Ric, Rob, and Barb still stood out there. As they were standing there, the bimbo that had given mouth to mouth to Rob during third period caught a glimpse of Rob. She passed by and stopped in front of Rob.  
  
"Hi.." she said as she bit her bottom lip and played with her hair. "Um...I was worried about you all day long...are you ok?...did that mouth to mouth work?" she said stupidly.  
  
Barb was standing next to Rob when the bimbo had approached him. She heard everything she said and then she shot a look to Rob..." Mouth To Mouth Rob Szatkowski?" Barb said angrily.  
  
"Who's this?" the bimbo said as she gave Barb a despising look.  
  
"I think I'm the one who should be asking you that question" Barb said as she got close to her aggressively, then Ric held her back.  
  
"Look Barb...I swear that I had no idea she was giving me mouth to mouth, I was knocked out cold and..." Rob continued to explain to Barb. "Barb, I love you and I would never, ever lie to you or cheat on you especially with...with..with...that!" Rob said as he pointed at the bimbo.  
  
Barb then looked at the bimbo and before Ric or Rob could blink, Barb had the stupid bimbo by the hair.  
  
"Ahhhh, ugh...let me go!...my beautiful hair!" the bimbo yelled hysterically.  
  
"Who the hell do you think you are...putting your lips on my man like that..Ahhhhh!!!" Barb yelled. It took Ric and Rob combined to get Barb off the bimbo.  
  
"Enough Barbarella!...enough!" Ric yelled. "You, go to class" Ric yelled at the bimbo. "And you...get in the office" he said as she grabbed her arm and almost dragged her.  
  
"Let me go!...Let me at her!..." Barb yelled as she struggled to get out of Ric's grip. 


	13. Lets Get the Hell out of Here!

Meanwhile in the Office...  
  
"Ric must really be chewing her out..." Jean commented to Mark.  
  
Suddenly, the door opened and in came Barbarella struggling in Ric's grip with Rob following them.  
  
"What the hell happened to you?!?!?" Booker teased Barb.  
  
"I'll Explain later man" Rob said.  
  
Barbarella finally calmed down and took a seat next to Jean, then suddenly, Ric's cell phone rang.  
  
"Hello" Ric answered  
  
"Ric, this is Linda McMahon"  
  
"Hey Linda, yeah, what's up?"  
  
"You know that file with the diplomas that you were missing?...well, we have found them"  
  
"Really?..oh that's wonderful Linda"  
  
"There is something else that you must know."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Vince had the missing file. He planned on keeping long enough to destroy WWF RAW"  
  
"That son of a bitch!"  
  
"We shall have a meeting upon your return to Titan Towers, there is some important buisness to be discussed. Meanwhile, let the others know" Linda said.  
  
"Will go." Ric said. "Thanks Linda...Yeah...I'll tell them, ok..bye" Ric said hanging up.   
  
Everyone looked at Ric with hope in their eyes. Then Ric turned to them and began to speak, "Ladies...Guys, this was your first and last day of school...the diplomas have been found!" he said proudly.  
  
"Yes!...yes!...yes!" they all said in unison.   
  
"Does this mean we can get the hell out of here and I can change this ridiculous outfit?" Mark asked.  
  
"Damned Strait!" Ric said. "Ok people...lets get back to work Wooooooo!" he said.  
  
Ric left in his car and the gang got in the van. Jean cuddled up with Mark, Barb and Rob cuddled up together, Jeff, Matt, Amy, Booker and Glen sang "99 bottles of beer on the wall"   
  
"Oh...come on Matt, hurry up, lets get the hell out of here before Jules wants to charge Ric for my little accident at Home Ec." Glen said.  
  
They all laughed and Matt quickly pulled out of the student parking lot. At the same time, Chris was also pulling out of the parking lot. After hearing what Vince did, Jules immediately fired Chris so the school wouldn't get a bad reputation. So now Chris was credential less and jobless. Suddenly, there was a loud crashing sound.  
  
"What the hell are you doing?!?!?" Chris said as he got out of his brand new Mustang and yelled at the driver who hit his car.  
  
"Ooops, sorry. You know how we damn high school kids drive." Matt said as he stuck his head out the van window.   
  
"Good-bye Christopher" Jean said with a smirk as she opened her window.  
  
"Ahhhh!" Chris screamed as the van sped off and left a wind of dust for him to eat. 


	14. Now What?

Now what?  
  
"This is the sickest thing we have ever witnessed any human being do!" Linda McMahon said to Vince McMahon as he sat with Ric Flair, Jean, Barbarella and the rest of the WWF committee. Vince just swallowed hard as Linda continued  
  
"This deed has forced this committee to terminate all power for Vince McMahon and hereby grant Ric Flair 100% power of not only RAW, but Smackdown! and all WWF programming and events." Linda continued.  
  
"This meeting is dismissed" she said as she slammed some papers on the large executive table and made her way out of the conference room.  
  
Barbarella, Ric and Jean hugged each other as they celebrated their victory.   
  
"Ladies, I think this is the start of a new era, Wooooooo!" Ric concluded.  
  
Fin. 


End file.
